It’s important to deal with such issues before they spiral out of control and threaten to bring your entire party down.įor more advice on throwing a gay sex party, check out How to Host a Gay Man’s Play Party by Sister Beth Kimbell. If a guest is acting abusive or inappropriate, breaking rules, or falling down drunk, quickly ask them to leave.
Valuables should be stowed in a locked room or wing, and you should always have an inner circle of trusted friends present to act as co-monitors. Above all, the music should never be distracting and should be low enough to allow your guests to hear all of the moans, whispers, and dirty talk.īesides watching out for your guests, you also need to keep an eye on your own home. House music can work well in a main space, light industrial can work well in dungeons, and international-flavored music can be great for orgy rooms. The music you select should put guests into an adventurous, provocative mood. You should have plenty of lube, condoms, paper towels, cloth towels, and trash receptacles in every room. If possible, it’s nice to provide showers so that guests can clean up and then come back for more – or leave feeling fresh and relaxed. You can provide paper and pens here, too, in case there are any love connections.
Always provide a no-sex chillout room, too – a place where folks can take a breather, perhaps with a TV showing the news, some skit comedy, or a documentary. You could have a blackout room for guests to grope around in, a red-lit orgy room with large beds or futons, an S&M dungeon, a circle jerk room, a porn theater, etc. One excellent approach is to give each room of your space its own lighting, music, and rules. You want the lighting low enough to make people feel brave and unselfconscious – but not too dark, either. Lighting and music are your main tools for creating a mood. This works best at larger events, since you’ll need a constant influx of new guests to replace the ones who leave.
If folks are free to arrive whenever they like, expect to have a more free-form event that ebbs and flows – an event where folks will break off into small groups, cum, and then leave. This will lead to laughs and thrills, putting everyone at ease and setting the stage for a group experience that will have its own pace and a shared sexual arc. Then draw two at a time and make those two people stand in the center of the circle and kiss.
For example, put everyone’s name in a hat. Then break the ice with some provocative games. You might start off with everyone in a circle to introduce themselves. With a strict arrival time, you can have a more structured and communal experience. One of the most critical decisions you’ll make concerns the arrival time, which can affect the mood of the entire event. Is alcohol allowed? And what about illegal drugs?
Things to address: Are food and drinks allowed? If so, where? Is there a smoking area? Is there a dress code? Is unsafe sex allowed? If not, how do you define safe sex? Cameras and camera-phones should be prohibited. During the event you should have the important rules posted. You can encourage more diversity at larger parties, but it’s best to start out small and simple.Įvery sex party needs ground rules, preferably spelled out in your invitations. After all, no one wants to feel like a home wrecker. If you include couples, make sure that they’re all easygoing and drama-free. Some of your guests should always be provocateurs (guys whom you can count on to approach timid guests and to act as sexual instigators.) If your party includes a healthy mix of provocateurs and wallflowers, everyone will enjoy themselves. Interpersonal dynamics play an important role, too. Ideally, your guest list should focus on guys with similar sexual proclivities and limits. Being all-inclusive sounds nice in theory, but can easily lead to hurt feelings and awkwardness. If this is your first time hosting a sex party, it would be wise to vet all of your guests personally. Careful planning makes all the difference, and a good host will make sure that every guest understands what to expect (and what is expected of them.) Hosting a gay sex party can be a lot of fun, but it can just as easily lead to disaster.
If you’d like to host your very own gay sex party, we’ve got some pointers that are sure to make it a success.